When love cools down… a true story after marriage
I laugh now thinking about the romance that I had before marriage. We used to talk like flowers, there was a spark in our eyes, and every day it felt like a Bollywood movie was playing. But then we got married… and the movie didn’t have an interval, it turned into a daily serial.
I remember, it had been just 1 year since we got married. One day I returned from office tired and exhausted, and as soon as I stepped into the house, my wife asked me as soon as she opened the door, “The milk is done. Should I leave or will you bring it?” And I stood there and started thinking – “Where did love go?”
Earlier, there used to be “jaan” and “baby” in everything. Now who will bring the vegetables, who will dry the clothes, whose remote – these are the discussions. And then when quarrels start taking the place of love, then believe me, marriage seems nothing more than a compromise.
Has this happened to you too? If yes, then friend, I can understand your pain.
Why does love change after marriage?
Now this question is very common – so much love before marriage, and after it is as if the battery is down! But why does this happen?
Expectations increase
After marriage, we have fairy-like expectations from the other person. In actuality, though, nobody is flawless.
Tension of daily life
EMI, children, office, home – all these things slowly soak the moisture of love. People get tired, and the connection is slowly lost.
Communication stops
After marriage, we assume that now everything will be understood automatically. But brother, if the words of the heart do not come to the tongue, then how will the distances be reduced?
How did I get out of this problem?
One day I asked myself – am I the same person whom my wife loved? Do I give her the respect, love and attention that she needs?
Maybe not.
I took a small step again. That day I brought her favourite sweets, and without saying anything, just sat beside her. I put the mobile on silent mode. I asked her – “How was your day today?” She was shocked. But the smile on her face told me – love is not dead yet, it has just fallen asleep.
Do you also want to bring love back?
So let’s talk about some useful things – very desi methods, which come from the heart and touch the heart.
- Change yourself, the other person will change automatically
Before thinking that “she doesn’t understand” – try to understand yourself once. Are you really supporting her, taking care of her?
- A little love is necessary every day
A small message, taking a cup of tea from her hand, or running your fingers through her hair for no reason – believe me, these small things make love big.
- Stop thinking that ‘I am right’
Marriage is not a competition. It is a team. If one person loses, both will lose.
- Go on a date again
Find a day in a week when both of you go out – without phones, without kids, just with each other. Then see the magic.
- Speak your heart out
Don’t be afraid. Speak your feelings clearly – without blaming. “I feel that we have drifted apart. I want us to be the same as before.” Just saying this can bring life into the relationship.
What will people think, leave it yaar!
We Indian couples have a big issue – “What will people say?” But when it comes to your relationship, listen to your heart, not the world. If you need therapy, go. If you need advice from someone, take it. What’s the point in being shy?
Although it is difficult, it is not impossible to keep love alive in a marriage.
Know one thing – any relationship requires time and effort. Love requires care, much like you would water a tree. Otherwise, it will dry up.
If you are reading this article, it means that you want to save your relationship. And this is the most crucial thing, pal. Because only those who care try.
Last thing – Give love, you will get love
After marriage, when tension starts taking the place of love, then stop and think – do you treat your partner the same way as you used to do before? If not, then start from today.
Once again listen to the same songs that both of you liked. Go to the market again holding hands. Look at old photos, and remember those moments when everything was simple and pure.
Marriage is the result of hard labor; it is not magic. And if you wish from the heart, then every “Marriage Love Problem” can be solved.